I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
