eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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