We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
