The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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