If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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