You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
