at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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