How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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