can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
