Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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