Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
one might say we're banned from that church
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
