did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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