she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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