Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
