i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
