I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
