She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
