i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
