I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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