toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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