Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
