honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
