just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
