JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
