That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
