Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
