No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
