what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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