just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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