i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
