Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
