Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
