I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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