Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
