Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Send help, water and tortillas.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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