Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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