She's JV to your varsity
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
