My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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