She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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