I forgot how hot balto sounded
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
