He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
