eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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