They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
