she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
