I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Randomize
