listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
