She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
