He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
