I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
