I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
