I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Man, jail baloney is awful.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
