You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
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