Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
